Zelas's Christmas Present
by PurplePixie
Summary: Once upon a time, a young Dark Lord sent a letter with a 'simple' request to a special someone in the North Pole...Who knew she'd actually get what she wished for! Yes! I finally updated! Surprised? Plz R&R! Pretty plz!
1. A Letter to Santa

PurplePixie: Hi, everybody! ^_^ My name is Kyomi, and this is one of my very first fanfictions--  
  
Zel: Oh, joy.another crazy author.  
  
Slayers: *Sigh* -_-  
  
PurpleP: Hey! It's not MY fault that you're all so cool and lovable! *glomps Zel*  
  
Zel: *Sweatdrops*  
  
PurpleP: ANYways *ahem* this is just a silly little fanfic I came up with one day. It's a little story is mainly about Zelas the Beastmaster and Xelloss *glomp* the Ultra-Kawaii-very-cool-and mysterious Priest and General! ^_^  
  
Xel and Zelas: O.O.  
  
Zelas: No, I uh, um.I'm afraid I can't participate in this little ficcy of yours 'cause.um, I need to go patrol my island and keep wandering humans off it, and do other important stuff. You know.a powerful Dark Lord's job is never done *nervous chuckle*.  
  
Xel: And I, uh.must do all I can to help my master! ^_^;  
  
PurpleP: Oh, don't worry! I already left someone in charge to take care of your island. ^_~  
  
*Back on Wolf Pack Island*  
  
Valgaav: How did I get here? *thinks* Oh well *starts destroying random things*  
  
*Back to Fanfic*  
  
Lina: Hey.if this fanfiction only involves Xelloss, can we leave!!?  
  
PurpleP: Uh.I guess so.  
  
Lina & Co.: *Suddenly disappear*  
  
Zel: I'm staying. I wouldn't mind watching you torture Xelloss *evil chuckle*.  
  
Xelloss: *Evil glare* Thanks for your HELP, Zelgadiss.  
  
Zel: NO problem. *takes a seat on a couch* PurpleP: Okay.oh! I almost forgot. *Mood is suddenly switched from extremely happy to extremely depressed* I don't own any of the Slayers cast.T-T *re-glomps Xelloss* though I wouldn't mind owning Xelloss. But I don't.  
  
Xelloss: *mumbling* Thank Ruby-eye.  
  
PurpleP: *ignores Xel* Heck, I don't even own that teeny sentence from the Night Before Christmas story. Oh, well. ANYways, *switch to happy mode* on with the fanfic!!! ^_^  
  
Zelas & Xel: *groan* (Zel: Hehehe.this is gonna be interesting)  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
Zelas's Christmas Present ^_^  
  
Chapter 1  
  
It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse-  
"I SAID 'LIGHTS OUT', ZELAS!!"  
"Okay, Shabby!"  
Um.okay, scratch that. It was the night before Christmas and a young, 7 year old child sat wide awake on a large bed in her room (that was in a large mansion, that was built on a large piece of land, that was on a very large planet, that was orbiting a very large sun, that was in the middle of a very large galaxy-Fanfic Readers: GET ON WITH IT!!), scribbling on a piece of paper.  
"I'm done!" the little girl announced to no one in particular and reread her letter to a special someone in the North Pole.  
  
Dear Santa Claus,  
I've been a very good girl this year (I've only teased Dolphin about 20,289,875 times this year! That's an improvement!), so here is a list of things I want this Christmas: Lots and lots of grape juice (Shabby won't let me try wine yet.) A really big, cuddly wolfie! (A purple one!) Fish poisoning to put in Dolphin's fish tank Fire-crackers to put under Dynast and Gaav's pillows Phibby's soul orbs (I'm sure he won't miss them too much ^_^) Permanent markers to draw on the walls of Dolphin's room A General-Priest (Shabby won't let me have one yet, but he says I can when I'm older! I drew you a picture of how he should look like)  
That's all I can think of right now, but I'll send you more letters later  
when I can think of other stuff I want. Oh, and remember: if you don't  
send me the things I want, I'LL BLOW YOU AND ALL YOUR LITTLE ELVES UP  
INTO ITTY-BITTY BITS!!  
From,  
Zelas Metallium ^_^  
  
Zelas smiled in approval of her letter and gently slipped it into an envelope.  
"Oh! I almost forgot," the little Dark Lord pulled out a drawing of a smiling, purple haired man from under one of her puffy pillows and stuffed it into the envelope with the letter.  
"Zelas! It's 11:30 P.M.!! I told you to go to sleep hours ago!" a man, I mean.uh, mazoku, NO, wait.um (Kyomi: *thinks**light bulb*) a human- like mazoku peeked his head into the little Beastmaster's room.  
"Shabby!" Zelas smiled at her 'Daddy' (Kyomi: *shudders at the thought of having 'Shabby' as a Dad*). She hopped off her bed and skipped over to the door where her creator was still scolding her ("Blah, blah, blah, staying up late, blah, blah, being disobedient, blah, blah, blah...). "I need to put my letter to Santa in my Christmas stocking on the fireplace, Shabby."  
"No," Shabranigdo looked down at the little mass of blonde hair at his waist. He pointed to the bed that was at the back of the room. "You're going to go to bed, now!"  
"." The chibi Beastmaster stared up at Shabby with big gleaming eyes.  
"."  
"WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" And the waterworks began.  
"O.O Zelas! Shhhhh, stop crying!" Shabby started to panic. One mini Dark Lord crying was bad. 4 other mini-Dark Lords crying (having been awakened from their sleep) would be much, much worse. "Listen, I'll go put this letter away for you, if you stop crying."  
"Okie," Zelas abruptly stopped crying and handed the envelope to her 'Daddy'. "And remember to put out some milk and cookies."  
"Um.okay, sure. Now, get into bed or.uh, Santa won't come," said Shabranigdo as he took the letter from his 'daughter' and led her to her bed. He gave Zelas a hug and tucked the chil-uh.Mazoku under the blankets. "Good night, Zelas."  
"Nighty-night, Shabby," the chibi Dark Lord smiled and snuggled her face deeper into her pillows and cuddled a little wolf plushie (Mr. Fluffy- Wuffy-Kins). Within seconds she was fast asleep.  
After he was sure that she was really asleep, Shabby crept out of Zelas's room and down the halls. He was extra careful not to make a single peep when he passed Phibrizo's room. Phibby was a very light sleeper and often woke up screaming things about evil mazoku trying to break into his room and kill him whenever he heard noises.  
"Sigh.-_-," Shabby let out his breath, which he had been holding while passing down the hallways, as he entered the enormous living room. He was heading towards the fireplace where 5 little stockings were hung, when suddenly-  
*Slip!* *Thump!* "OW!"  
He stepped on one of Gaav's little toy cars, slipped, and fell backwards onto the floor. He stayed silent for a minute, listening to hear if he had woken anyone up. When he didn't hear any sounds (or shouts of "AHH, MONSTER!!" or "ASSASSINS ARE HERE TO GET ME!!") he started muttering to himself as he passed a beautifully decorated Christmas tree.  
"Why is everyone ignoring my commands today? Zelas wouldn't go to sleep, and Dolphin kept feeding the sharks Fish Flakes when I told her not too! Dynast kept throwing his peas at Phibrizo during dinnertime, as if I couldn't see. Speaking of the little brat, I think I should take his marbles away. He keeps threatening everyone with them. And I told Gaav to put toys away this morning!" Shabby picked up another toy car that almost tripped him (again). "I don't know why I ever created those little runts. They're just too much trouble." Shabby was going to slip Zelas's letter into her stocking (which was decorated with little wolves), when his curiosity got the better of him. What ever would the little kid want that she doesn't already have? So he opened the envelope and pulled out a little drawing of a smiling man with the word 'Xelloss' at the top of the sheet. "Xelloss? Who the heck is Xelloss?" Deciding that he didn't really want to know, he stuck the picture back into the envelope and shoved it into the stocking. With that task over with, he yawned and teleported ("Why didn't I do that earlier?") back into his room. After changing, or teleporting, into his pajamas, he climbed into bed. The blankets were so warm and the Mazoku Lord was VERY tired. He laid his head onto his soft pillow, and was about to drift into Mazoku Dreamland when.  
"Shabby, I need a glass of water." _________________________________________________________________ PurpleP: ^_^ That went pretty well! Xel: Yeah, as long as I don't have to be in this fanfic, I'm happy ^_^. Chibi-Zelas: . Hurry up with the next chapter, already! I don't wanna stay like this for eternity!!! Xel: O.O B-B-Beastmaster?! *picks up Chibi* I-Is that you?!! Zel: *Falls off couch* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! XD Chibi Zelas & Xel: =_= *glare* *attacks with teeth & claws* *smacks Zel with staff* Zel: O.O OW! OUCH! HEY, QUIT IT!! *Tries to pry Chibi-Zelas off his leg while being thwack-ed* PurpleP: *sigh* -_- They're hopeless.oh, well. Bye, bye for now! ^_^ *waves* 


	2. Surprise! A new PriestGeneral!

PurplePixie: Hi, again! Kyomi here, and I'm starting my second chapter! ^_^  
  
Zelas & Xelloss: *Groan* PurpleP: Awww, look! They're trying to conceal their happiness! Xelloss: *Tries to sneak away* Zelas: HEY! Get back here! *pulls on Xel's hair* If I'm going to have to suffer through this, so will you. Xelloss: -_-; *sigh* PurpleP: Yeah, Xelloss. You can't leave, now. You're in this ficcy! ^_^ Xelloss: O.O *gasp* *tries harder to pull away from Beastmaster* Zelgadiss: *sitting on couch* Hehehe. ^_^ I invited someone to come watch, too. PurpleP: Who? *doorbell rings* Oh, I'll get it! *opens door that magically appeared* Hi! Welcome to my-FILIA?! Filia: ^_^ Hi! Mr. Zelgadiss told me there was something very amusing going on here. So what's so-NAMAGOMI?! Xelloss: Hi, Fi-chan! *waves* Filia: WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?! Zelgadiss: He's the entertainment. ^_^ Filia: Eh??? Purplep: Filia, just take a seat. Okay? We really need to start the fic. *Fi sits on couch* By the way, I don't own any of the Slayers cast *winces*. That's always so hard to say.*sigh* Anyways, let the show begin! _________________________________________________________________  
  
Zelas's Christmas Present ^_^  
  
Chapter 2  
  
*Clink* *Clink*  
Her many bracelets clicked on her wrists and ankles as Zelas Metallium strolled down the halls of her luxurious mansion and into her thrown room one evening. She walked to her thrown and sat down, delicately crossing her legs. The Dark Lord magically summoned a glass of red wine from who knows where, and took several small sips before setting it down on a table beside her. Zelas sighed as she looked around the room, which was (at the time) decorated with bits of tinsel and bunches of holly (hey, when you're feeling bored, why not redecorate? ^_^). Yes, it was that time of the year again, and it was just plain-  
"BoOoOoring," the Beastmaster groaned. In fact, this Christmas was probably the most boring Christmas EVER. The humans were minding their own business. The dragons weren't causing any trouble at the moment. All the other Dark Lords were busy with their own plans of destruction. Even the wolves were busy with their everyday routines. No one was causing any trouble. Yup, things were pretty peaceful and quiet on Wolf Pack Island; too quiet. So quiet that it actually made her feel kind of lonely.  
"Hmm.maybe I should 'invite' someone to my island," Zelas held her beautiful, blonde head in her hands as she considered this option. She could always invite Dynast. His last palace in some desert was blown up into smithereens when Gaav, his priest, and general came to visit. Apparently, their generals didn't like each other too much.oh, well. Dynast was currently staying with Phibrizo. Nah.Dynast is such a mean, boring, smart ass, Zelas thought to herself. He wouldn't be much fun, anyways. Then a better idea struck her. "Or maybe I could CREATE someone to stay on my island.I have been thinking about making a general and priest for myself. If I created some minions for myself, at least I wouldn't be as lonesome. Hmm."  
She thought for a while longer before nodding to herself. "Yes, that's what I need; a general and priest! It's settled then, I guess I can think creating them tomorrow." With that decided and having nothing else to do, Beastmaster went to her bedroom to sleep.  
  
~*The very next day.*~  
  
Feeling very refreshed in the morning, Zelas got out of bed in a fairly good mood. After tormenting some of her lower servants (Mmm, breakfast!), she happily walked into her thrown room where she found a huge box that was about half her size. It was wrapped in green paper and had a large red bow on top. There was also a little tag attached to the box.  
"Eh? What ever could this be? Who put it here??" the Dark Lord asked herself as she read the tag. "Hmm.Well, well. 'To: Zelas Metallium'. Now who would send a giant box to me? Lets see.this is from SANTA CLAUS?!! O.O" Zelas read the tag over. "What kind of joke is this?! Santa Claus, yeah right. This is probably some bomb or trap someone sent me. Hmm." She tapped the box. To her surprise, something tapped back. "Eh?!" She tapped it again, and got the same results.  
"What's in here???" Beastmaster started to unwrap the large package, even though she knew she probably shouldn't. When she finally managed to open the box, she looked inside. There was another box. Zelas unwrapped that one and opened it. There was another box. She unwrapped that box and found another box. She found another, and another, and another, and another."HOW MANY BOXES ARE THERE?!! ."  
  
~*15 min. of unwrapping later.*~  
  
"FINALLY!" After a while of unwrapping, the whole thrown room was littered with boxes and wrapping paper. Zelas started wondering why she hadn't just blasted the box in the first place. She now had a small, square box in her hands (-_- *sweatdrop*). A little hesitantly, she opened the package. To her relief, there wasn't another box (Zelas: "Thank Ruby- eye."). There was a small cloud of purple smoke and then came a *Poof* sound. Zelas closed her eyes, expecting the worst. Suddenly-  
"HIIIIIIIII!!"  
Zelas opened her eyes in surprise and found a smiling, purple haired mazoku standing before her.  
"O.O W-Who are YOU?! And how did you get onto my island?!!"  
"Aww, don't tell me you already forgot!" the mazoku gave Zelas a little bow. "^_^ I'm Xelloss!"  
"Who?"  
" ^_^; Xelloss!"  
"."  
"."  
"OKAY! GET OFF MY ISLAND!" the shocked-now-angry Dark Lord shouted at the happy-now-surprised mazoku. How dare another mazoku enter HER domain without HER permission?!  
"O.O What?"  
"YOU HEARD ME! OUT! GET OUT NOW!!" Zelas started to shove the utterly confused mazoku toward the door.  
"WAIT! You can't just get rid of me!"  
"Oh, can't I?" Zelas gave Xelloss a glare, daring him to answer.  
"Well.you can, but AT LEAST LET ME EXPLAIN WHY I'M HERE!!" Xelloss started to panic when he saw Zelas gather some powerful energy in her hand.  
Zelas thought about this for a moment, and then sighed. I guess I should let him explain, Zelas thought. Maybe he has a good reason for being here. Her ball of energy flickered away, and Xelloss sighed in relief.  
"Alright, start explaining," Zelas magically summoned a glass of wine and took a sip.  
"Well, you see," Xelloss began, his smile never leaving his face. "I'm here to be your Priest/General! ^_^" There was another moment of silence as Zelas just stared at him.  
"And what makes you think that I'd want YOU as my priest and general?" Zelas said as she took another sip of her wine.  
"^_^ Insanity Claus told me so! See, you even said so in your letter to him," Xelloss pulled out an old looking envelope out of his bag and handed it to Zelas.  
Zelas choked on her wine. She snatched the envelope from Xelloss and took out what was inside. Sure enough, there was her letter and drawing. She just stared in disbelief.  
"O.O H-How did you get this?!" This was definitely turning out to be an odd day.  
"I told you. Insan-Santa Claus gave it to me. You know, Santa Claus: the big fat man that brakes into houses by use of a chimney. Although I never quite figured out HOW he got down them with that big belly of his."  
Zelas was still trying to get this information to sink in. "Okay, okay! Let me get this straight. Uh.you were sent here to be my priest/general?" This was all very confusing; and Zelas did NOT like being confused.  
"^_^ Yup."  
"Can I kill you?"  
"I'd prefer to stay alive, thank you."  
"Who's my absolute favorite person in the whole entire universe?"  
"Fluffy-Wuffy-Kins. (Zelas: O.O How did he.?) ^_^"  
"So, that fat human, Santa Claus, is real?"  
"Must be."  
"And he lives in the North Pole."  
"I remember seeing snow before I was shoved into a box."  
Memo to self, Zelas thought evilly, tell Dynast that there will soon be a vacant spot in the North Pole where he could build his new palace. She sighed.  
  
Filia & Zelgadiss: LOL!!! Zelas & Xelloss: -_-; Filia: Fluffy-Wuffy-Kins?? LOL!! Zelas: *wails* No one is supposed to know about Fluffy!! *turns to Kyomi with battle aura flaring* It's YOUR fault! *glare* Xelloss: OoOoOoh.she's mad, now. PurpleP: *nervous chuckle* ^^; Did I do something bad? Zelas: *ROAR* *changes into giant wolf form* I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL NEVER SPILL ANYMORE OF MY SECRETS!!! DIIIIIIIIE!!! *charges at Kyomi* PurpleP: O.O Eep! *runs for dear life while dodging fireballs* Xelloss: ^_^ Ahh, sweet fear. 


	3. BOOM! Bye, bye Mansion

PurplePixie: ^_^ I'm back again with the next chapter! Xelloss: O.O You got Beastmaster angry, a-and LIVED?! Filia: Wow.I thought she killed you. Xelloss: -.- Well, we shouldn't keep our hopes up so high, now should we? PurpleP: Hey.you sound like you actually WANTED me dead! Xelloss: NO! Of course not! Whatever gave you that idea? *pulls out 101 Ways to Kill an Authoress and starts reading* Zelgadiss: Hey, Kyomi. How DID you live with Zelas after your blood?? PurpleP: ^_^ Oh, we made a deal. Zelgadiss: Oh? *raises an eyebrow* PurpleP: Yeah, she gets all the cigars and cigarettes in my dad's closet in exchange for my life ^_^. My dad needs to quit smoking anyway. Filia: She exchanged your life.for cigarettes and cigars?! PurpleP: The cigars are vanilla flavored. ^_~ Hehe, anyways.it's time to start the fic! Xelloss: Ooh! Oooh! Ooooh!! Say the disclaimer! Say the disclaimer! ^_^ PurpleP: *sweatdrops* Uh.I don't own any of the slayers cast. Xelloss: ^_^ Ahh, sweet music to my ears.  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
Zelas's Christmas Present ^_^  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Great, -_- Zelas thought to herself, I have a smiling, purple haired freak as a priest AND general. She sighed and looked up at her new minion. Xelloss hadn't moved and was still wearing his genki face (^_^). OoOoOoh.yeah, that face will SURELY get people to fear him. The Dark Lord batted a sweatdrop away from her head. She looked up at the mazoku once again. "Well, show me what you got," Zelas said dully as she took a gulp of her wine. "You want me to what?" Xelloss cocked his head to the side a bit. "Show me what you got." "Oh!" Xelloss reached into his bag and pulled out.a pair of socks (Zelas: *sweatdrop*). "^_^ I have a pair of socks, a couple instruments of torture, a cook book, my teddy bear, I also carry my staff, of course." He waved his staff and continued listing things that were in his baggie. "I also have my- -" "I didn't mean what was in your bag!" Zelas fumed. "I meant: "show me what you're made off!" "Okay! I can't really show you.but I can tell you!" "Then tell me!" the Beastmaster was getting very irritated. "I'm made of black chaos, of course! ^_^" Xelloss grinned.  
Zelas facefaulted. "STOP BEING STUPID!" The force of Zelas's shouting almost knocked Xelloss down. "YOU KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN THAT, YOU NUMBSKULL! POWER!! I WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH POWER YOU HAVE!!" She stomped her feet on the ground and clenched her fists. Zelas was about to continue ranting about how she didn't want a weak servant, when she realized how unfeminine she was being and forced herself to calm down.  
"Oh, power! Why didn't you say so!" ^_^ Xelloss grinned and then a thoughtful look crossed his face.  
"Well! What are you waiting for?!" Zelas crossed her arms and tapped her foot, waiting for Xelloss to do something.  
"For you to tell me what to do. ^_^"  
Screw feminine-ness!!! "SHOW ME-CAST A SPELL!! THE MOST POWERFUL SPELL YOU CAN CAST! NOW! RIGHT NOW!!"  
"Uh.are you sure I--"  
"DO IT!"  
"But we're still in your--"  
"NOW!!!" by now Zelas was jumping up and down, waving her arms, and shrieking at the top of her lungs at the grinning mazoku. Xelloss sighed.  
"Whatever you say, master -_-;" With that, Xelloss began gathering a ball of black energy into his hands and was just about to set it off.  
"About time! Just make sure you don't ruin my mansion too mu-O.O" and that's when Zelas realized that they were still inside her mansion. "NOOOOO! XELLOSS, WAI--!"  
KABOOM!!!!  
  
~*Miles and miles away from Wolf Pack Island.*~  
  
"Oi, Bob! What was that noise?" a villager curiously looked towards the direction of the sound. "I'm not sure, Joe," said Bob. Bob looked at his friend. "Sounded like an explosion. Maybe it was a spell gone wrong." He shrugged. "Oh, well."  
  
~*Back on Wolf Pack Island*~  
  
"Wow, I guess I could pack a punch! Eh, Juu-ou sama? Juu-ou sama?" Xelloss looked around at the half destroyed mansion. The building had totally crumbled into itty-bitty pieces. The mazoku went rummaging through the giant pile of rubble. After no success, he climbed onto a rather large pile and scanned the area for the missing Dark Lord. "JUU-OU SAMA! WHERE ARE YOU!!!?"  
"Mmph mowph mmph!!!"  
"Master?!" Xelloss swore that he heard his master's mumbling somewhere around here! "JUU-OU SAMA! TELL ME WHEN I'M CLOSE TO-OOF!" Xel looked around for what had tripped him. He saw what looked like the heel of a shoe. "Stupid shoe!" He kicked it and then heard-  
"MMOOOOOOOOW!!!"  
"Juu-ou sama?! O.O" Xelloss bent down and started to dig up Zelas, whom was shouting some very colorful words at Xel while she was stuck under all the mess. "I'm sorry for kicking your shoe!!" After several minutes of digging, Zelas was finally free. She wasn't happy, but she was free.  
"YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT!"  
"I already said sorry for the shoe thing."  
"My shoe?" Zelas began twitching. "After what you did, you are worried about my SHOE?! WHAT ABOUT MY MANSION!!? LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY MANSION!!!" Her voice echoed throughout the building (or what was left of it), making the ceiling shake.  
"Juu-ou sama.I don't think you should scream like--"  
"FYI, I CAN SCREAM ALL I WANT! THIS IS MY MANSION! OR AT LEAST IT WAS UNTIL A CERTAIN SOMEONE BLEW IT UP!!!!" The ceiling began shaking violently.  
"I know, but it's just that your screaming is making the ceiling--"  
"HAH! I'M SURPRISED THERE'S ANY CEILING LEFT AFTER YOU FIRED YOUR STUPID SPELL!! I SWEAR! I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU A LESSON AND DAMN YOU TO HE-- "  
SMASH!!  
Zelas would have continued ranting, but (fortunately for Xelloss) a large piece of the ceiling fell right smack on top of her golden head. Then she went *thump!* onto the ground and went @.@.  
".Juu-ou sama?"  
"@.@.O-owie."  
"-_-; *sigh*"  
  
PurpleP: Wow, it's the end of the chapter already! Xelloss: YAY!! Free at last!!! ^_^ PurpleP: Uh.I hate to burst your bubble and all, but I only said 'it's the end of the CHAPTER'. Xelloss: Awww.T-T Filia: Hehehe, see! I always knew that Xelloss was a good-for-nothing trouble- maker! Look at what he did to the mansion. ^^ Xelloss: I'm not stupid enough to blow up my mistress's mansion!! The cloned Xelloss in the story is! I'd never do something so dumb! I'm not Gourry! Gourry: *suddenly appears* Hey.that's mean! PurpleP: What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in one of my sister's ficcies right now? Gourry: Oh! Was that where I'm supposed to be? All minus Gourry: *sweatdrop* PurpleP: *boots Gourry out off magical door* ANYways, that's all for now! I'll try to write another fic soon. But until then ^_^ Ja ne! 


	4. Kitchen Catastrophe

PurplePixie: Hello, again! I'm back! ^_^ Xelloss: *unenthusiastically* Yay. PurpleP: Awww! You did miss me! Didn't you? *glomp* Xelloss: If I said I did, would you leave me alone? PurpleP: Hmm.Nope! Xelloss: *sweatdrop* Filia: *snicker* Zelgadiss: Well, get on with the fic already! I haven't got all day! *crosses arms and taps foot* PurpleP: Why not? Still looking for your cure? Zelgadiss: Yes. PurpleP: But why?! Everyone likes you the way you are! Zelgadiss: Everyone except me. PurpleP: Oh, come on! Do you know what happen to people who get to obsessive with things?! Remember Rezo? He was always so obsessed with his blindness! And look where that obsessive-ness got him! BOTH OF THEM!! Zelgadiss: IT SERVES HIM RIGHT! PurpleP: *sigh* Anyway, I don't own any of the Slayers cast. *sigh* T-T Although I'd really like to. Zelas: HAH! But you can't, because Xelloss belongs to me and only me!! HAHAHAHA! Xelloss: *sweatdrop*  
  
________________________________________________________  
  
Zelas's Christmas Present ^_^  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Zelas groaned as she creaked open an eye. She realized she was in her own room in her own cozy bed with her cozy pillows and-(Kyomi: *gets various things thrown at her* SO-RRY!) well, let's just say that she was in her room. She also noticed a figure with shoulder length hair at the side of her bed. Zelas growled and lunged at the figure, ready to choke it to death if it was whom she thought it was.  
"XELLOSS, YOU STUPID DUMB-Ow.my poor head." The beastmaster fell back into her bed, rubbing her bandaged head.  
"Please, Zelas-sama! Calm down. You shouldn't move so quickly," said the figure. Zelas glanced at the figure and realized that it wasn't Xelloss. It was one of her lower servants, Shayla. Shayla bowed respectfully and then smiled at her master.  
"Shayla! Thank goodness! It's only you!" the Beast Master sat up and practically hugged the surprised servant. "I had such a weird dream! I dreamed some purple haired idiot became my priest AND general, and he destroyed my whole mansion. Wow, thank Ruby-eye that it was only a dream."  
"Uh.Beastmaster?" Shayla stood up and looked a bit nervous.  
"Yes, Shayla? ^_^" Zelas on the other hand was quite happy. She was so glad that Xelloss was just in her dream-uh, nightmare.  
"That wasn't just a dream."  
"O_O Say what?"  
"You do have a priest/general. Xelloss-sama did blow up part of the mansion, and you were knocked out for 4 days straight. I was a bit worried. Oh, Xelloss-sama also said he was very sorry for destroying your mansion. He also said something about fixing and redecorating-Zelas-sama?" Shayla noticed the horrified look on Zelas's face.  
"."  
"Zelas-sama?"  
"."  
"Zelas-sama? Are you okay?! Zelas-sama?"  
".He fixed my mansion?"  
Shayla looked a bit nervous again. "Well, in a way. . Yes."  
".And he redecorated?" Zelas's voice was just a little too calm for it to be a 'normal' reaction.  
"^^; Uh.yeah. He said it was the least he could do for-Zelas-sama! You shouldn't get out of bed!" Zelas had jumped out of bed and ran to the door. She was about to open the door when Shayla jumped in her way, blocking the door.  
"Get out of the way, Shayla!! Do you know what kind of horrible things that nitwit would do to 'redecorate' my beloved mansion?! I must stop him!!!!"  
"No, master!" The servant tried to block the door from the angered Dark Lord. "^^; I really don't think you would want to look outside right now!"  
"Yes, I do!!" And with that, Zelas shoved Shayla out her way and yanked the door open. She froze right there and stared. "O.O.Oh.my.god." There was only one word to describe what she saw: Purple. Purple. Everything was purple. Purple curtains, purple couches, purple vases, purple wallpaper, purple carpeting-Purple, purple purple, purple, PURPLE!!! (Kyomi: *gets things chucked at her yet again* What, you people don't like purple?)  
"Ooooh, I TOLD her not to look! ." Shayla poked her head out from her master's room. "Zelas-sama? Are you gonna be okay?" She approached Zelas and tapped her shoulder.  
"."  
"Zelas-sama?"  
"."  
"Zelas-sama?" Not this again.  
"."  
"Zelas--"  
"XELLOSS!!!" Zelas raced down the halls in search of her priest and general.  
"Beast Master! I'm in the kitchen!" came Xelloss's voice. Zelas turned a corner and ran towards the kitchen. She skidded to a stop as she reached the door to the kitchen. Fuming, Zelas slammed the door open.  
"XELLOSS! THERE YOU ARE! HOW DARE YOU REDEC-WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" Zelas shrieked. Before her stood Xelloss in an apron, holding a frying pan. There was also a big mess surrounding Xelloss. There was smoke coming from the oven and toaster. There were splatters of syrup and cooking oil all over the place. The sink was over flowing with dishes, and there were things that you could call 'food' (you-could-eat it-but-we're-not-sure- you'll-live kind of food) littered all over the floor, stove, and counter. Xelloss, on the other hand, was miraculously clean and smiling.  
"Oh, hello Juu-ou sama! I see you've finally woken up. ^_^" Xelloss turned to the gaping Dark Lord. "Look, I made you breakfast!" He pointed upwards where there were about 4 pancakes and scambled eggs practically GLUED to the ceiling (Zelas: *sweatdrop*).  
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY KITCHEN?!!"  
"Well, I just thought you'd be hungry after going without food for about 4 days. So I decided to cook you something! ^_^ The kitchen got a little dirty, though."  
"A little? A LITTLE?!! YOU DESTROYED IT!! YOU DESTROYED MY KITCHEN!! FIRST MY MANSION, NOW THIS!! YOU ARE SO GOING TO BE PUNISHED FOR THIS! I AM GOING TO KILL--"  
KABOOM!!!  
--Went the oven! Along with all the other appliances in the kitchen, causing a very big explosion.  
  
~*Again, miles away from WPI*~  
"Oi, Bob!" Joe called to his friend. "What smells?"  
"AHHH!!! It's raining poisoned gunk!!!" Bob cried, running in little circles until he got hit in the head by a piece of 'poisoned gunk'.  
"Hey, is that a pancake?"  
  
~*Back on WPI*~  
  
The kitchen and several feet around it were burned to a crisp, and so were Zelas and Xelloss (mmm.barbecued mazoku ^_^). The kitchen was officially off limits to any mazoku named Xelloss from that day forth. Anyway, the now extra crispy Zelas was sent to her room once again to have her cuts and burns bandaged.  
Zelas winced as Shayla bandaged her arm (Zelas wasn't at all in the mood to heal herself). Stupid fruitcake! Zelas thought, bitterly. Only here for 2-5 days and already causing havoc! Xelloss no Baka! I have to think of a way to get rid of him. But how? He doesn't seem willing to leave.The Beast Master was left to her thoughts after the servant had finished bandaging. Then an evil smirk spread across her face. I've got an idea.  
"Juu-ou sama?" Xelloss peeked his head into his master's room.  
"Hmm? Oh, Xelloss!" Zelas turned to Xelloss, just noticing him. Perfect.She smiled at Xelloss and beckoned him in.  
"I'm really, really, really, really sorry ^^;"  
"Oh, it's okay. I get blown up all the time," Zelas gave Xelloss a way too cheerful smile. "Do come in ^_^."  
"Uh.you're not going to hurt me, are you?"  
"Nope."  
"Then you're just going to kill me right now, aren't you?" Xelloss backed out of the room a bit.  
".No"  
"Then you're going to kill me, revive me, then kill me again!"  
"No!" Zelas was getting irritated.  
"Then you're going to punish me by inflecting a large amount of pain onto me until I'm almost an inch away from death! Then you'll throw me into your forest so that all your hungry wolves could eat me!!"  
"No, no, NO!" She glared at Xelloss who backed farther out of the room with big teary eyes.  
"THEN YOU'LL--"  
"I COMMAND YOU TO STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR DEATH!!"  
Xelloss zipped his mouth. Zelas sighed.  
"Now, come here, Xelloss." Xelloss did so and walked to her bedside.  
"So you're not going to--" He was cut off by Zelas's evil glare. "*Sweatdrop* Geez.I was just kidding."  
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Now, Xelloss, I have a mission for you."  
  
PurpleP: Another chapter done, and another kitchen gone! Xelloss: Are you saying that my cooking sucks?! Filia: NO! Of course not! Your cooking is indescribable! Xelloss: Really? Filia: Yeah! I can't think of a word to describe your horrible cooking. Zelgadiss: Yeah, let's take this moment to remember that wonderful soup you made at that doll tower. Xelloss: HEY! That cook guy cheated, I tell you! He just told me to COOK something! He didn't say it had to be GOOD.^^; And technically, it WAS food! Zelas: It kinda makes me wonder why he never failed his cooking class in highschool. Xelloss: Heh heh heh ^_^ *remembers how fun it was to threaten his old cooking teacher* PurpleP: Okay, that's all for now! I'm going to try to teach Xelloss some cooking tips! Hopefully, I'll come back alive! So until then, Ja ne! 


	5. Xelloss's First Mission! YAY!

Zelgadiss, Filia, and Zelas are sitting in beanbag chairs in a light blue room that was filled with various plushies. The trio was all watching T.V., which was currently one of those info-mercial channels.  
  
Zelas: Wow, who knew you could do so much with a vaccum.  
  
Zelgadiss: Wait a minute, what IS a vaccum??  
  
Filia: Hey, it's been awfully quiet.where is that namagomi??  
  
A loud *BOOM* is heard behind a door, which had a sign that read 'Kitchen' on it, near the back of the room. The door bursts open and black smoke pours out from the room.  
  
PurplePixie: *stumbles out of room coughing* Urgh.too much vinegar.  
  
Xelloss: *teleports into room* No, I think it was the fact that you put the temperature up so high that blew up the cake.  
  
Filia: What were you two doing?! He wasn't trying to corrupt your innocent mind or blow up your kitchen, was he? *glares at Xel*  
  
Xelloss: No I didn't corrupt her mind. I didn't even blow up the kitchen this time! ^_^ Guess what. Ky-chan's even worst at cooking than I am!!  
  
PurpleP: T-T Gee.thanks for the compliment, Xelloss.  
  
Zelgadiss: Having worst cooking skills than the fruitcake? Wow, is that possible?  
  
Xelloss: ^_^ Now it is! PurpleP: =.= You people are so cruel.I'm starting to feel glad that I don't own you crazy bunch.  
  
Xelloss: Awww.don't you love us anymore? *gets teary eyed*  
  
Filia: *smashes Xel on the head with Mace-sama* Don't do that. It only makes you look freakier.  
  
PurpleP: Hey, Zelgadiss. *pokes Zel* Remember our deal? Hmm?  
  
Zelgadiss: Urgh.but I don't want too! *glowers* I swore I'd NEVER where that thing ever again!!  
  
PurpleP: Oh come on! I'll leave you alone and then you could have all the coffee that you want! PLEEEEEEEASE? *does puppy-dog eyed thing*  
  
Zelgadiss: *sigh* Fine.*suddenly appears in a dramatic pose in his bunny suit* To the fanfic, and beyond!!! There, I said it. Happy?  
  
PurpleP: Yeah! Okay, you can go get your coffee in the kitchen now! ^_^  
  
Zelgadiss: *races off to kitchen*  
  
PurpleP: Anyways, on with the fic!  
  
Zelgadiss: NOOOO! THE COFFEE POT BLEW UP!!!  
  
________________________________________________________  
  
Zelas's Christmas Present ^_^  
  
Chapter 5  
  
I don't get it, Xelloss thought as he hung upside-down, tied up to his shoulders in seaweed. He stared at the dancing and screeching tribe people in the cave, then at the 4 sharks down below him. He sweatdropped. Is this mission supposed to be a challenge? He sighed. This is stupid. What did Beast Master want me to do again?  
  
~* Begin Flashback*~  
  
"Xelloss, I have a mission for you," Zelas said as she straightened up.  
  
YES! A mission! "Oooh, a mission!! ^_^ Is it an important mission? Huh? Is it??" Xelloss jumped around with glee. Zelas just sweatdropped.  
  
"Uh.yeah. It's very important. I need you to go to the Bohithian Tribe and retrieve my-my-my PURSE!" Zelas thought quickly. Xelloss facefaulted.  
  
"Y-your purse?!" Xelloss said as he picked himself up off the ground.  
  
"Yes!" Zelas threw an arm over her head dramatically. "Those evil fiends stole my purse when I was innocently talking a stroll one day. I need it back! And I trust that you can go get it for me, Xelloss."  
  
"Uh." My first mission is.to get her PURSE back?! Xelloss sweatdropped.  
  
"Oh, but it'll be dangerous!! You'll have to go through many obstacles to get my purse! I'm starting to have doubts about whether you would be able to do this or not." Zelas said quickly when she saw the exasperated look on Xelloss's face.  
  
"Dangerous?" Xelloss brightened up a bit and struck a dramatic pose that would have made Amelia proud (if she was in existence at the moment). "Don't worry, Zelas-sama! I'll get your purse back no matter what!"  
  
Then Xelloss teleported out.  
  
"*sigh* I can't believe that HE believed that story." Zelas sighed. Suddenly, Xelloss teleported back into her room.  
  
"Hi, Zelas-sama!"  
  
"What?! You finished your mission alreadly??!" Zelas was stunned.  
  
"No, I just came back to ask you where the Bohithian Tribe is."  
  
~*End Flashback*~  
  
Oh, yeah.the purse. Xelloss sighed. Well, if getting it back is as important as it sounds, I guess I should hurry up. The Beast Priest cleared his throat.  
  
"Ahem, uh.I have to go look for my mistress's purse, right now. So, uh.if you don't mind, could any one of you come and untie me?" Xelloss asked politely. ^_^  
  
The tribe people started grunting angrily and pointing at the upside- down priest/general. Then one of the tribe members came towards Xelloss with a torch, and lit the rope that was holding Xelloss in the air.  
  
"My, my, what rude people!" Xelloss tsked. "Feeding a person to sharks isn't very nice. Neither is stealing someone's purse. Shame on you!"  
  
The sharks, seeing that their meal was soon to be served, started gathering around Xelloss. Their jaws snapped as the tribe people did more of their dancing and hooting.  
  
"*sigh* Well, I guess I'll get out of this little problem myself. I can't just hang around here all day, after all!" With that said, Xelloss teleported out of the tight bonds right before a giant shark leapt into the air to bite his head off.  
  
All the members of the tribe had confused expressions on their faces until Xelloss teleported right in front of them. Then their expressions turned into extreme anger. They all charged at the 'defenseless' priest.  
  
"Oh! Are we playing tag now?" Xelloss gave the crowd a slightly mischievous grin before leap-froging over the first attacker and pushing him into the pool of hungry sharks. "Then, TAG! You're it!"  
  
After about 10 more minutes of bashing and chucking people into the shark pit, all of the tribe members were all either knocked out, or fish food. The only one left standing is *drum-roll* Xelloss!  
  
"Well, it was fun while it lasted," Xelloss then walked out of the cave and into the village of small huts. "Now to look for that purse."  
  
~*Meanwhile, on WPI*~  
  
Zelas stretched and yawned, after awakening from a nice, long nap.  
"Ahhh, that nap really hit the spot. I haven't taken a nap for years! I almost forgot how nice it could feel," she sat up and then realized that there was a letter on her nightstand. "Huh, who knew that mailmen are brave enough to come back to my island, even after I ate the last one."  
  
The Dark Lord opened the letter and read it:  
  
Dear Zelas,  
Greetings, my dear sister. I'm writing this letter to thank you for your help in finding me a place for my new palace. The North Pole is actually a very nice place. It's not hot, like Phibrizo's place. In fact, it's nice and cold (Zelas: Just like you, dear brother.). Imagine all the snow cones I can make here. Anyways, thanks for your recommendation. But even if you did help me find this place, that doesn't mean that you'll be welcomed here. In other words, DON'T COME NEAR MY NEW PALACE!!!  
Sincerely,  
Dynast  
  
P.S. - Word around says that you've got yourself a general and priest. Is it true?  
  
"Yes, unfortunately I do," Zelas replied to no one in particular. "But I won't for long.MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!" The blonde Dark Lord cackled at the thought of her priest/general. "Hehe, the Bohithian Tribe is known for their violent ways of torturing trespassers in their land. They probably tore that idiot into pieces! Ahahahaha!!"  
  
"Hi, Beast Master! Whatcha laughing about? Did you hear a funny joke?" Xelloss suddenly popped into Zelas's room with a little brown baggie.  
  
"AHHHH! DON'T DO THAT!!" Zelas quickly recovered from her fright when she realized something. "O.O Wait a second.WHY ARE YOU BACK?!!" H-how did he get back!? HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!!  
  
"Well, you told me to get your purse back. So I did ^_^!" Xelloss happily handed the little baggie to the stunned Beast Master. Zelas suddenly got out of her shocked stated.  
  
"HAH! You lie! That bag can't be mine, because I didn't LOSE it in the first place!"  
  
"Nope, I didn't lie, Zelas-sama. This is most certainly YOUR purse," Xelloss then pulled out a small wolf plushie. "See, even Mr. Fluffy-Wuffy- Kins is in here."  
  
"GIVE ME THAT!!" Zelas yanked the purse (and Mr. Fluffy-Wuffy-Kins) from Xelloss, and started inspecting it.  
  
"My cigarettes.my money.my special lighter.even Mr. Fluffy-Wuffy- Kins. Wow, this really IS my purse," Zelas then glared back at Xelloss, whom was standing near her bed with his usual genki face. Damn it.I guess I'll have to think of another way to get rid of him. "Well, good job Xelloss. You could leave now. I'll call you back later to give you another mission."  
  
"^_^ Yes sir! Er-ma'am!" With that said, Xel teleported out.  
  
After Xelloss left, Beast Master promptly shoved her face into her pillow and screamed. I don't get it! I thought he was weak enough for those silly humans to take care of! Well, I guess he's not as weak as I thought. After all, he did blow up most of my mansion.grrr. Fine, I'll just have to think of something harder for him to do.And so Zelas started plotting evil ways to rid herself of the pestering priest/general.  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
PurpleP: Another chapter down, a couple more to go!  
  
Zelas: Good, the faster we go, the better. BTW, I'm not that vengeful towards Xelloss!!  
  
PurpleP: I know, I know. But in this fic, you are! MUAHAHAHA!! I have the power to make characters OOC!! And there's nothing you could do about it!! MUAHAHA--*gets hit in the head with a melted coffee pot* *gets knocked out*  
  
Xelloss: Good shot.  
  
Zelgadiss: Yes, it was, wasn't it? I think I'll call it my this-is-revenge- for-blowing-up-the-coffee-pot-after-making-me-wear-that-bunny-suit-in-front- of-everyone-so-I-hate-you throw. 


	6. Dynamite Fun

PurplePixie: URGH!!  
  
Zelgadiss, Filia, Zelas, and Xelloss are seated in a room and are watching as Kyomi staggers towards them with a giant, gray block on her back.  
  
Zelgadiss: You do know that you look stupid carrying that block of cement around, don't you?  
  
PurpleP: URGH, SHUT UP!! *gathers all her strength to throw the giant, gray block (GGB) at Zelgadiss*  
  
Zelgadiss: *GGB lands right on top of his head* @.@ Ow...  
  
Xelloss: Hey! Now we could call you Rock Boy AND Block Boy, Zel! ^_^  
  
The GGB on Zelgadiss's head suddenly cracks into two. Each piece of the block falls on top of the closest thing around: Xelloss and Filia.  
  
Fi & Xel: ACK! *both get smashed* @.@ Ouchies...  
  
PurpleP: BWAHAHAHA!!  
  
Zelas: *being the only one conscious at the moment* Ky-chan? What was that block, and why were you carrying it around?  
  
PurpleP: THAT *points to broken GGB* is the despicable, horrible, despised, terrible *dun, dUn, DUN!* WRITERS' BLOCK!  
  
Zelas: *sweatdrops* But it looks like an ordinary GGB.  
  
PurpleP: It's not just any ordinary GGB! It's the terrible Writers' Block that attacks helpless authors and authoress and leaves them unable to write anything! But I, Kyomi a.k.a. PurplePixie, got rid of the horrid monstrosity!! MWAHAHAHA!!  
  
Zelas: So, this-this Writers' Block keeps you from writing?  
  
PurpleP: Yup.  
  
Zelas: Oh...*goes over and hugs one of the broken pieces of the GGB* T-T Why? Why did she have to defeat you, oh precious Writers' Block? Why?  
  
GGB: *sweatdrops*  
  
PurpleP: Anyway! Now that I have gotten rid of the Writers' Block, I could continue my story!  
  
Zelas: *desperately tries to revive GGB* Glue! I need GLUE!!!! *wonders off in search of glue*  
  
PurpleP: ^^; Uh oh...I can't have her go and bring back that GGB! *is about to run off until she remembers the audience* Um...while I go find Zelas, why don't you all read my ficcy, okay? BTW: I don't own Slayers. I'll be back soon! Until then, on with the fanfic!  
  
Zelas's Christmas Present ^_^  
  
Chapter 6  
  
I don't get it, Zelas thought to herself as she stared out the window of her bedroom. How does he keep coming back?!! Zelas was very frustrated. Oh, wait...I should tell you WHY she's frustrated before I continue. ^_^ You see, because Xelloss succeeded on his first mission, Zelas kept giving him harder and harder tasks to do (in hopes of his destruction during the process). Unfortunately, her plan didn't go to well, 'cause he kept succeeding! In fact, Xelloss had just returned from his 30th mission (to retrieve Zelas's cigarette pack that was in the center of the Forest of Never Return) a couple hours ago...  
  
Zelas growled angrily at the thought of Xelloss. Not only has he survived in all his missions, he has also developed a hobby of setting up traps and pranks for her lower servants to find. Usually, Zelas wouldn't mind tormenting others. In fact, she enjoyed it. But lately, she hadn't been enjoying the little traps too much. Heck, YOU wouldn't enjoy watching a trap that was meant for another catch YOU instead, now would you? If only he would jus DIE, Zelas thought. Everything would be fine. But NoOoOoOo...Why can't anything destroy him??? I bet that not even the other Dark Lords-wait a minute. That's when an idea popped into her head. Other Dark Lords...A sinister grin slowly spread across her face as her plan developed in her head.  
  
"Yes! That's it!" Finally concluding her plan of Xelloss's demise, Zelas raced around her mansion in search of her priest/general. Her heels clanked against the tiled floor as she walked down a long hallway.  
  
The blonde Dark Lord was innocently (if that's possible) walking down the hall with she felt something small brush the side of her leg.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
Zelas picked up a small box that resembled a cigarette box up off of the floor.  
  
"Hey! My cigarettes!" She huggled the small box for a moment. She looked around the hall to see who would have dared to take her cigarettes out of place. Spotting no one, Beast Master was about to turn and leave when she saw something purple looming behind the corner of the hall.  
  
"Xelloss? Is that you?"  
  
"J-J-Juu-Ou sama?! O.O" Xelloss stared gaping at the grinning Zelas, whom was still holding the box in her hand. "Wh-What are you-You're not supposed to be here!!"  
  
"Neither are you-Hey! What are you talking about?" Zelas asked questioningly. "If you've forgotten, this is MY mansion."  
  
"Yeah...I know but...uh," Xelloss eyed the box nervously. "Um...could I have that box you got there?"  
  
"No!" Zelas huggled her 'cigarette' box. "Are you kidding? THESE are also MY cigarettes!"  
  
Uh oh, Xelloss thought as he sweatdropped. "Um, how about if I said 'please'?"  
  
"=.= No."  
  
"Pretty please?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Pretty please with sugar on top?"  
  
"Uh uh."  
  
"PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE WITH SUGAR, AND CHERRIES AND SPRINKLES ON TOP?!" Xelloss began to panic.  
  
"NO!!!" Zelas was getting a bit annoyed. "Exactly WHY do you want my cigarettes so much?"  
  
"Well...um," Xelloss chewed his lip for a moment before he decided that there was going to be NO way that he could get the box away from Zelas. "You see..."  
  
"Would you just spit it out?!!" Zelas shouted at the flustered priest, getting rather impatient.  
  
"Uh..." What could I say that wouldn't get me into trouble? Think, think, think! Then an idea hit him. "That's a secret!" And he raced off down the hallway.  
  
Zelas just stood there blinking for a while. What is up with him? She shrugged off the thought. "Oh, well. Maybe he'll suddenly run into a wall and die," She opened the small box and pulled out a cigarette. "Ah, this is what I need. A cigarette." The Dark Lord was about to put the 'cigarette' into her mouth when she realized that it wasn't at all her cigarette. Instead, she pulled out a long, slender, red, and lit stick of-  
  
"DYNA--!!!"  
  
BOOOOOOOM!!  
  
After all the dust and rubble had cleared, Zelas could be seen (burned black) standing in the middle of all the wreckage holding her 'cigarettes'.  
  
"-mite...urgh," Zelas let out a puff of smoke and fell backwards onto the crispy carpet.  
  
Why, L-sama? Why do curse me with a halfwit as a priest/general? Why? Zelas thought drearily as she slowly slipped out of consciousness.  
  
~*In Zelas's dream*~  
  
"I've been burned, fried, and blown up by that crazy idiot too many times to count," Dream-Zelas said to herself as she stood floating in black nothingness. She sighed. "Well...at least I won't be bothered by him in my dreams." ^_^  
  
I guess fate was really against her that day, 'cause suddenly, Dream- Xelloss appeared right next to Dream-Zelas in the little black void of nothingness.  
  
"^_^ Hi, Zelas-sama!"  
  
And across the peaceful world of Dreamland, a loud agonizing scream could be heard drifting in the air.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
PurpleP: So? Did you like it? Hate it? Review it and tell me!  
  
Filia: *holds ice pack to her head* Yeah, or this might happen to you. -_- *points to the large bump on her head*  
  
PurpleP: ^_^; Heh heh heh...Anyways, that's it for now. I still haven't found Zelas anywhere. So I better find her before she revives the GGB. Ja ne 'til then! 


	7. Horrible Banishment

Scene: Xellos, Filia, and Zelgadiss are seated in a room. Zelas and Kyomi are nowhere in sight.  
  
Xelloss: Another chapter by the Great Insane One...Oh, joy.  
  
Zelgadiss: *looks up from his cup of coffee* Speaking of which, where is that authoress?  
  
PurplePixie: AAAAAAAAH!!!! *runs across scene*  
  
X, Z & F: O.O  
  
Filia: What was THAT about?  
  
Suddenly, the GGB bounces across scene after PurpleP.  
  
Zelas: *runs after GGB* It's ALIVE! ALIVE! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Xelloss: OoOoOoOkay...I think someone forgot to take her medication ^_^! Juu-Ou sama! *jingles a bottle of pills* Wait up! *teleports out*  
  
Zelgadiss: Well, I guess we have to introduce the fic, now.  
  
Filia: ^_^ Okay! PurplePixie doesn't own Slayers. 'Cause if she did, then the whole story would be about Xelloss =_=. DAMN YOU, NAMAGOMI!!! *runs off to look for Xel with her mace*  
  
Zelgadiss: *all alone*...*silence*...*crickets chirp*...Well? What are you still reading this for?! Go read the fanfic, already! Shoo! Geez...crazy readers won't leave me alone *walks out*.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Zelas's Christmas Present ^_^  
  
Chapter 7  
  
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"  
  
"Okay!" Zelas shouted from her bed at the mazoku priest. "I forgive you *cring*! Just SHUT UP!!!"  
  
Xellos zipped his mouth.  
  
"Good," Zelas sighed and rubbed her bandaged head. "Now, I called you here to give you another mission."  
  
"O.O More missions?!" Xellos sighed. "Did you lose your wallet to man eating piranhas again??"  
  
"No," Zelas sweatdropped. "I have different mission for you."  
  
"I'm not doing your laundry again. I found a crocodile in the washing machine the last time."  
  
"Would yah just listen to me!! ._+ " A red battle aura started to flicker around the beast master.  
  
"Okay, okay!" Xellos sweatdropped. "But you have to promise not to get too mad, alright?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," Zelas waved her hand carelessly.  
  
Xellos took a deep breath. "I-went-over-to-Dolphin-sama's-palace-and-gave- her-the-basket-like-you-told-me-to-but-I-guess-she-didn't-like-fried-fish- after-all-in-fact-she-started-chasing-be-with-a-gigantic-tridant-that-I- have-no-idea-where-she-got-and-she-was-trying-to-zap-me-with-it-and- screaming-mean-comments-as-she-chased-me-all-the-way-through-this-canyon- thing-and-I-told-her-to-stop-blasting-everything-but-nOoOoOo-and-then-!"  
  
"Would yah just skip to the point?!" Zelas growled.  
  
"A giant rock hit her on the head!!" Xellos wailed.  
  
"What?! O.O"  
  
"She zapped a giant rock, it fell down, and hit her right on the head!" Xellos demonstrated by hitting himself lightly on the head. "And the worst part is that that hit on the head kind of...uh...um..."  
  
"SPIT IT OUT!!" Zelas started to panic. How would the other dark lords react when they find out that one of her 'minions' did something very, very bad or worst...KILLED another dark lord?! They wouldn't be too happy with the fact that they're one powerful lord weaker.  
  
"S-She lost her mind!" Xellos blurted out.  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"  
  
~*Miles away*~  
  
"Oi, Joe! Quit screaming! Can't a fellow get some shut-eye?!" Bob shouted to his friend from his spot under a tree.  
  
"I'm not screaming," Joe replied. "Some innocent soul probably walked along and saw your mother's face."  
  
"HEY! What's that supposed mean?!!"  
  
~*Back to WPI*~  
  
"I'm doomed! I'm doomed!! I'M DOOMED!!"  
  
"Beast Master! Calm down! Everything will be alright...I think," Xellos followed Zelas as she paced back and forth down the hall. "Just relax! It's not your fault that Dolphin-sama went and zapped a rock on herself!"  
  
"You're right," Zelas whirled around and glared angrily at Xellos. "IT'S YOUR FAULT!"  
  
"Juu-Ou sama, I'm-"  
  
"Quiet!" Beast Master paused from her pacing to rub her temples. "Urgh, I can feel a headache coming on. I need a cigarette."  
  
Zelas summoned a cigarette from her stash by snapping her fingers. She waited for her cigarette...but it didn't come.  
  
"What the??" Confused, Zelas snapped her fingers again. And again. And again. "Where are my cigarettes?!"  
  
"Oh! Your cigarettes??" Xellos piped up.  
  
"You know where my cigarettes are?" Zelas turned to Xellos.  
  
"^_^ Yeah, I threw them away."  
  
"You...WHAT?!" Zelas's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.  
  
"Now, Beast Master! Did you know that cigarettes and tobacco can lead to heart diseases and cancer? You wouldn't want to get-"  
  
"YOU IDIOT!!" Zelas shrieked, her eyes glowing and battle aura blazing. "Get out! Get of my mansion!!"  
  
"What?? But-but-but-!"  
  
"I told you to get out of my mansion, not sing me a song!!"  
  
"But I'm your general/priest!" Xellos, needless to say, was pretty shocked.  
  
"Well, you're FIRED!!" Zelas shouted at the top of her lungs. "Blowing me up is one thing, but when you mess with my CIGARETTES-that's were I draw the line! Get LOST! I never, ever, ever, EVER want to see your good-for-nothing face AGAIN!"  
  
"But-!"  
  
"Go away! And that's an order!" Zelas glared at Xel for the I-don't- know-th time that day.  
  
"But-" Xellos's eyes snapped open and got into teary puppy-dog form (Ky-chan: *shudder*).  
  
"...*glare*..."  
  
Sighing, Xellos teleported out.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Xellos: You banished me from the island, because of CIGARETTES?!  
  
Zelas: Hey, it's not my fault the Zelas-imposter does what she does. Blame her. *points to Kyomi...whom is still being bounced after by the GGB*  
  
Zelgadiss: Hey! I thought that thing broke *remembers the huge dent it gave to his head*.  
  
Filia: Yeah, how'd you bring it back?  
  
Zelas: I have my ways...MwAhAhAhAhA!!!!  
  
Fi & Zel: *sweatdrop* Scary...  
  
Xellos: Get use to it.  
  
PurpleP: *races by* Please *huff* REVIEW!! *huff* *runs off*  
  
Xellos: But if you WANT to discourage her writing, please DON'T review!  
  
Zelgadiss: You think she actually cares about reviews?? I think she'll keep writing either way. She loves to torture us...*sigh* Oh, well. Bye for now. 


End file.
